The recipient of your designation will receive an anonymous letter through the mail in a special envelope designed to create a sense of urgency to open it. Inside the envelope is a letter folded in such way that the act of opening/unfolding spills out a proprietary blend of -what appears to be- freshly harvested, curlicue hairs shaved from the body of the man depicted in the photo and the message "Happy Birthday." The letter itself (once unfolded) displays a graphic photo of a VERY hairy individual shaving their body. The “hair” that falls from the letter is NOT actual body hair but rather a perfect synthetic replica, designed specifically to make clean up difficult (think of it like glitter, only grosser).
What better way to say Happy Birthday? It's worth noting the recipient will not know who sent it until/unless you eventually tell them.